Monday, July 13, 2009

The ultimate guide to his orgasm:

The mechanics of a guy's big O are way more complicated than "put tab A in slot B and ... oh yes, yes ... bingo." We've tracked a man's ascent to ecstasy, from the first frisky thought to the grand finale--then passed along the secrets to giving him a bigger, better blastoff than he ever imagined possible.


* You never really hear anyone talking about the mysteries of the male orgasm. That's probably because making it happen is often considered to be about as complicated as operating an elevator: locate control panel, press any button, and--ding! ding!--he's headed for the penthouse.
But in fact, what looks like a point-and-shoot process actually involves everything from hormones to blood flow, heavy breathing to hyperventilation, muscle tension to testicular inflation. And when you know exactly what's going on in his bod from start to finish, driving him wild at every stage becomes unbelievably easy ... and a lot of fun. The following guide will clue you in to the sex moves that'll have the most amazing impact at each crucial stage of your guy's climb to climax.


The mind-penis connection

Your man's orgasm odyssey begins in his brain. "It's often what's going on in his mind that kick-starts sexual arousal," says Richard Milsten, M.D., coauthor of The Sexual Male. "When a man thinks about sex, his brain sends neurological signals down his spinal cord to his genitals, which then respond by increasing blood flow to his penis." During this time, known as the excitement/desire phase, his heart rate rises and his twins tighten. All that can happen before you've even laid a hand on the waistband of his boxers.
Enhance-the-action tips: Stimulate his imagination. "Sexually, men are extremely visual," says Margot Anand, author of Sexual Ecstasy. "So one of the most effective methods to beef up his pleasure is to flaunt your body in ways that tease him." In other words, put on a show that would make Sex and the City's Samantha take notes: Stand in front of him, lick your lips, and unbutton your shirt enough to let him see the red lace bra underneath. Then tell him you're wearing panties to match. "And flash him some skin," says Vera Bodansky, Ph.D., coauthor with Steve Bodansky, Ph.D., of The Illustrated Guide to Extended Massive Orgasm. "Some guys like butts, some like legs, some like breasts--figure out his female weak spot and use it to seriously turn him on." If he's constantly gazing at your cleavage, make your nipples hard by rubbing them, and pull the fabric of your top taut so he can see the results. To put your rear on view, turn your back to him, then look over your shoulder while letting your hips sway suggestively. Or try both and watch his eyes temporarily eject from their sockets.


The tantalizing buildup

Exactly how and when the second stage, also known as the plateau/arousal phase, kicks in depends on the guy. It might be launched just by the sneak peek of skin you've given him and his increased excitement in anticipation of getting it on. Or he may need some hands-on action: a little chest-stroking, thigh-rubbing, or light back-scratching to kick him up to another notch. In either case, this buildup period is marked by intense sexual arousal--and a desperate urge to be touched. His heart rate and breathing will get even faster. In addition, says Dr. Milsten, his chest and arms might redden in a sexy flush, his nipples may harden, and his balls may balloon in size. With direct stimulation, the engorged head of his penis will change colors, permutating into a passionate purple shade; it also will enlarge even more, a phenomenon Steve Bodansky calls a secondary erection.

Enhance-the-action tips: You have already massaged him mentally. This phase is when you get to mess around with him manually. But to maximize the delicious teasing of turning him on, don't zero in on his penis ... yet. By focusing on other areas of his body--kissing him, stroking his face, trailing your lips down his neck, and even lightly sucking his fingers--you'll intensify his arousal by adding anticipation, says Steve Bodansky.

Then when you're ready (or when he begs you), take some lubricant, smooth it onto his penis with your hand, and start stroking up and down in a swirling motion. "That twisting action will ignite extra nerve endings," says Patricia Taylor, Ph.D., author of Expanded Orgasm. After a few minutes, hone in on your man's hot spot--an ultrasensitive point on the underside of his penis, just below the head. "You should actually be able to feel it with your fingers," Taylor says. "It's actually hot, and it may even tingle a little or vibrate from the blood flow." Stroke it with your fingers or use your tongue. But don't touch him just there, says Anand. "Stimulate other parts of his body simultaneously--for instance, move a hand to his stomach, then slide it to his chest in one sweeping stroke, making circular movements around his nipples."

Because this is the play-with-each-other phase before ejaculation, it packs the most intense pleasure. So making it last as long as possible will send your guy into hooky nirvana. "The more foreplay, the longer and stronger his orgasm," says Anand. "Prolonging his excitement causes him to build up more sexual energy, so when he finally does climax, there is an even greater sense of release and pleasure." But to max out this stage and intensify his climax, you need to walk the fine line between revving him up and slowing him down so he can last as long as possible. By getting his mind off his orgasm, you'll actually be guaranteeing him greater pleasure. "When the tip of his penis suddenly gets bigger, a sign he's about to ejaculate, firmly squeeze the head for about four seconds," says Vera Bodansky. "Then start stimulating him in a different way." For example, switch from intercourse to oral sex, but lick his penis instead of sucking on it while avoiding the sensitive head.
Or stop touching his Johnson altogether and focus on his pleasure pals. "When a man is close to coming, his testicles contract even more and pull upward," says Anand. "So if you want to calm him so he comes harder later, hold his testicles and massage them downward: With one hand, put your thumb and index finger around the base of his testicles, and with the other hand, caress them with light circular motions."

Certain positions, like woman-on-top, are also often effective for prolonging intercourse and delaying ejaculation, says Douglas Abrams, coauthor of The Multi-Orgasmic Couple. You may have to experiment a bit to find his best cooldown pose. And, adds Taylor, get him to focus on what he's feeling in the moment--instead of what's to come--by talking to him. "Tell him `You feel really good' and 'You're getting bigger,'" suggests Taylor. The more you help him keep his mind on the present passion, the more intensely erotic he'll feel overall.


The tension-melting explosion

Blastoff--the orgasm. Immediately before the big finale, known as the orgasmic phase, your man may increase the rate of his pushes, and his legs and feet may tense up and even twitch. Several glands in his sex system--including the prostate and the testes--emit fluid into the urethra, creating a feeling of fullness and an urge to ejaculate, and the opening to his bladder closes. A few seconds later, his semen is propelled out of the urethra by contractions that hit him every eight-tenths of a second. Even his butt gets in on the action: The sphincter muscles contract concurrently with the muscles in his penis.
Enhance-the-action tips: Pay close attention to the way his body is tensing up and pulsing, and use your hands, mouth, and body to pulse along with him, suggests Lou Paget, author of The Big O. "Moving in rhythm with your guy will heighten his sensations," she explains. Now is also the perfect moment to massage his perineum (the spot between the anus and testicles that's packed with nerve endings). Use the flat part of your finger to treat this area to firm but gentle rhythmic pushes.
Another way to supersize his ecstasy is to spread his sexual energy from his pelvis into other parts of his body. "Because men's erogenous zones are primarily concentrated in their genital area, most men, unlike women, limit sexual pleasure and orgasmic release to below the belt," Abrams says. "Stroking his back and spine and running your fingers through his hair will help focus his attention upward--making the orgasm a bigger, more whole-body experience."


Total relaxation

During this resolution/satisfaction phase, his heart and breathing rates return to normal, and his penis shrinks from fully erect to about 50 percent bigger than its normal, just-hanging-there size (which it will return to over the next 10 to 20 minutes for younger men, longer for older men). The flush disappears from his chest and abdomen, the taut aspect of his twins disappears, and his penis--much like a woman's clitoris postorgasm--may become very sensitive to the touch. Depending on his age and his body's biology, his randy urges may not revive for a matter of hours. "The refractory period varies greatly among men," says Dr. Milsten.
Enhance-the-action tips: In order to give him good lovin' at this stage, you have to find out if your man falls into the wants-to-be-touched or doesn't-want-to-be-touched category. If he likes a little postorgasm petting, try sucking or massaging his penis very gently for a few minutes, but go supereasy on the top inch. "Concentrate on the base or midsection of his member instead of the sensitive head," Anand suggests. And if your man needs to slip off into sleepy oblivion? Let him ... and don't take it personally.
If you're up anyway and feel like enhancing your guy's experience even more, give him a little rub. "A great thing to do after an orgasm is to give a face, neck, and scalp massage," says Kenneth Ray Stubbs, Ph.D., author of Erotic Massage. "Many men hold tension in those areas. Once they've had a release in their lower body, it's particularly soothing to experience one at the other end." And since you've spoiled him so much already, why not?
climax conundrums

There are a lot of puzzling rumors flying about the inner workings of male machinery. We took up these weird, absurd, and even a bit icky issues will experts to distinguish fact from fiction ... and bragging.

1 Can a man really have multiple orgasms?

Some sex experts say that by doing exercises to strengthen their PC muscles, men can learn to experience the contractions of orgasm while homing back their ejaculation. But Larry Lipshultz, M.D., chief of male reproductive medicine and surgery at Baylor College of Medicine, says, "There's no scientific proof that male multiple orgasms can happen."

2 So then how many times can a man orgasm in one day?

It depends entirely on his body clock. "Each man's refractory period is different--it can take one person under 15 minutes and another a matter of hours to become erect again after climaxing,' explains Dr. Lipshultz. You'll have to conduct your own research.

3 What is semen made of?

The ejaculatory cocktail is 1 to 10 percent sperm, and the remainder is seminal plasma (a liquid that contains everything from water to simple sugars--which provide fuel for sperm--to alkalines, vitamin C, and zinc).

4 How much semen comes out in a guy's typical ejaculation?

It may seem like more, but only about a teaspoon of semen comes out of men between ages 18 and 36. Older guys eject less.

5 About how many calories are there in a tablespoon of semen?


Thanks to accessmylibrary

Publication: Cosmopolitan

Author: Holmes, Anna

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